Television Hall of Fame: First Class

Here is the problem (for me, anyway) with doing these individually wrapped, single-topic blogs … the absurd tangents this blog often takes seem even more absurd when they’re broken out and asked to stand on their own. It’s sort of like a bad Broadway song – it’s one thing when you hear the song in the middle of the play. At least then you hear it in context, and you can say, “OK, that’s a bad song, but it’s part of the play.”

But if you hear someone sing that same song completely out of context – say the cast of Les Miserables shows up on the Jerry Lewis telethon to sing, “Castle on a Cloud” – then it’s about 40 percent more awful.

So, yeah, when I throw out the idea of the Television Hall of Fame in the middle of a baseball blog from St. Louis, sure, it’s bizarre and stupid, but at least it’s clear from the outset that I KNOW it’s bizarre and stupid. But when I actually name a blog item “Television Hall of Fame,” suddenly it may seem like I’m actually taking this idea seriously, and I would say that makes it about 40 percent more stupid.

Does that make any sense at all? I can’t imagine that it does.

I’ve decided that the Television Hall of Fame should have a first induction class of seven because it’s the magic number, Mantle’s number, Biggio’s number, and also I could not really narrow it down any more than that. Now, this is really a television performer’s Hall of Fame – that is, only people who appeared in front of the camera. So Norman Lear, Lorne Michaels, the 60 Minutes producer that Al Pacino played in “The Insider,” the 849 people who wrote for the original “Late Night with David Letterman” (it was always hilarious when that show won an Emmy – two thirds of the crowd would walk up on stage), the creators of M*A*S*H and the original guy who said, “Come on down, you are the next contestant on The Price is Right” – none of them are eligible.

A handy rule.

Jim Henson = Not eligible.
Kermit the Frog = Eligible.

Here is the first class as voted by a couple of readers, various friends and mostly your blogging host. We'll try to get that NL All-Star Ballot up before the end of the day:

Lucille Ball
Hall of Fame Plaque: Starred in “I Love Lucy,” the landmark sitcom that dominated television ratings in the 1950s and revolutionized television programming. Famed for eating chocolate off a fast-moving conveyer belt, stomping grapes and trying to get into Ricky’s show. Was voted Greatest TV Star of All-Time by TV Guide in 1996.

Johnny Carson
Hall of Fame Plaque: Beloved television star hosted “The Tonight Show” for 30 years. In that time, he won six Emmy’s and a Peabody Award. Famed for his deadpan humor and engaged interviewing style. Apparently it is not true that once Zsa Zsa Gabor brought a cat on the show and said to him, on air, “Would you like to pet my pussy?” to which he replied, “I’d love to if you would just get rid of the damn cat.”

Bill Cosby
Hall of Fame Plaque: Was the first African American male to star on television with “I Spy” in the mid-1960s and later produced, directed and starred in “The Cosby Show,” one of the most beloved sitcoms in television history. Also created and did the voices for “Fat Albert and the Cosby Kids. Won four Emmy Awards.

Walter Cronkite
Hall of Fame Plaque: Anchorman for CBS Evening News for almost two decades. Was voted many times the most trusted man in America. Spoke exactly 124 words per minute because he determined that this was the speed at which people could most easily follow him. Ended his broadcasts with the famed signoff, “That’s the way it was.”

Jackie Gleason
Hall of Fame Plaque: Pioneer changed the television landscape with his breakthrough role as Ralph Kramden in “The Honeymooners.” He also hosted “Dumont’s Cavalcade of Stars” and “The Jackie Gleason Show.” Was famed for both the outrageousness and humanity he instilled in Kramden, and the catch phrase, “To the moon, Alice!”

Jerry Seinfeld
Hall of Fame Plaque: Co-creator and star of “Seinfeld,” which was voted by TV Guide as the best sitcom in television history. The show changed the comedy landscape by being about “nothing.” And there are also his classic commercials with Superman.

Ed Sullivan
Hall of Fame Plaque: Host of the Ed Sullivan Show for almost a quarter century. He broadcast the first American appearance of “The Beatles” and brought numerous musical artists such at the Rolling Stones, Johnny Cash and the Jackson Five to America’s living rooms. He was one of the first television shows to feature African American musicians.