The Hopes of Opening Day

The Curt Schilling entry is coming up, but first: I published a statistic in a recent Kansas City Star column that speaks to the horrors of Kansas City Royals pitching. I think it bears expanding here just in case you missed it. Everyone who cares already knows the Royals pitching has been horrendous for the last few years. But unless you really take the time to explore, you can't fully appreciate the full measure of Royals pitching stinkiosity.

(I love the worst "stinkiosity." There was some sitcom I once saw - it might have been that Kirk Cameron "Growing Pains" show - where one of the characters was taking a journalism class. Whoever it was turned in an article with all sorts of big and fancy words in it. The professor said "This stinks." She - I believe the protagonist was Kirk Cameron's sister - said "I don't understand what you mean." And he said: "Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I forgot who I was talking to. Let me rephrase. 'It is replete with stinkiosity." For some reason, that has stuck with me.)

OK, to the numbers. How bad has Royals pitching been? Here are the Royals' Opening Day starters each of the last five years, along with a few pertinent statistics.

2006: Scott Elarton.
PS: 4-9, 5.34 ERA, 49 Ks, 52 walks, 26 homers in 114 innings.

2005: Jose Lima.
PS: 5-16, 6.99, 80 Ks, 61 walks, batters hit .314 with 31 homers.

2004: Brian Anderson.
PS: 6-12, 5.64 ERA, 70 Ks, 53 walks, batters hit .320 with 33 homers.

2003: Runelyvys Hernandez.
PS: 7-5, 4.61 ERA, 48 Ks, 37 walks, pitched 91 innings before getting hurt.

2002: Jeff Suppan.
PS: 9-16, 5.32 ERA, 109 Ks, 68 walks, 1-12 away from Kauffman Stadium.

Now, I don't need to add this up to get across the point. I only need to say that the Royals last five Opening Day starters were Elarton, Lima, Anderson, Hernandez and Suppan - and you will certainly understand. But let's add it up, just for fun: The Royals No. 1 starter the last five years, the guy they opened the season with, the pitcher who was supposed to give everyone hope that things were on the move went a combined: 31-58 with a 5.68 ERA and gave 131 homers in 749 innings.

The entire league hit .291 against the fab five with a .354 on-base percentage and a .500 slugging percentage. That's everybody in the league, including (until recently) Christian Guzman. To give you an idea, these numbers are not significantly different from what the Royals have gotten in those same five years from $11 million per year Mike Sweeney (.301/.373/.506).

And these were the Royals' aces. Their Opening Day starters. You don't even want to know how bad their other starters have been. You know, I lived through all this, but I did not realize the Royals No. 1 pitchers were this bad until I went back and totaled up the statistics. No wonder Dayton Moore spent $55 million for Gil Meche.