Saturday, March 17, 2007

Baseball in Verse, Take 3

My first big national story happened in 1994, when I got an exclusive interview with Pete Rose five years after he was banished from baseball. it's funny to look back on it now and realize that not one word in it -- with the possible exception of the "Boca Raton" dateline -- is true. The strange part is that I can't help but like Pete Rose even though he spent some four hours lying to me on that day. Pete lying and hustling is part of the game. I think he belongs in the Hall of Fame too, though I don't expect him to ever get there.

I know
I'm a Hall of Famer.
I don't want to sound
arrogant.
I'm not
arrogant.
But I belong there.
I played the game
the way
it should be played.

Baseball obsessed me.
I don't regret it.
I had to be that way
to succeed.

I signed an agreement
which said I didn't
admit or deny that
I bet on baseball.

How does that mean
I bet on baseball?

There has been absolutely no evidence
that says
I bet on baseball.

They don't have anything.
And still they write that.

Now I see
they want me to admit
to betting on baseball.

They want me to lie
and admit to something
I didn't do.
I'm not going to do that.
I would never do that.

I like my life very much.

-- Pete Rose, August, 1994

Thursday, March 15, 2007

The NL West with Rich Lederer

For more than a year now, I've been promising to write a column for Rich Lederer's tremendous site Baseball Analysts. I still have not done it. This is because of a series of comical coincidences -- really. I would start writing a column and then my computer would blow up. I would get a new computer and starting another column for Rich and then my dog would unplug the machine. This is particularly troubling because we don't have a dog.

The point is that Rich is such a good guy that when I asked HIM to write a preview for this site, he did it in something like 23 minutes. You might know Rich from his impassioned pleas to get Bert Blyleven inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Editor's note: The latest column I intended to write for Rich - but have not yet - involves a long and bizarre argument I had with a fellow sportswriter on the Hall of Fame merits of Blyleven vs. Jack Morris. It was pointed out somewhere in there that Blyleven had 33 more victories, 1,200 more strikeouts, 32 more shutouts, 67 more complete games, fewer walks despite many more innings, a much lower ERA -- 3.31 to 3.90 -- and much better ERA+, 118 vs. 105. Blyleven also a considerably better postseason ERA and a better World Series ERA. I realize these are "statistics" and all, but they seem fairly conclusive to me. Instead, the conversation took an odd turn when he pointed out rather loudly that Morris pitched Game 1 of the World Series for three different teams. He did not see this as a statistical oddity but instead as a Go Directly To Hall of Fame card. Do no pass Go. Do not collect $200. Do not mind the Bert Blyleven.

Rich is the son of an excellent sportswriter and a terrific writer himself. He's also a wonderful guy, and I will get that column written for him someday. Really.

First, 1-5, rank the NL West (adding a sentence on each team if you like).

1. Dodgers: The division is up for grabs but somebody has to win it.
2. Padres: They've won it two years in a row.
3. Diamondbacks: Moving in the right direction.
4. Rockies: Farm system is loaded.
5. Giants: Older and wiser, but certainly not stronger.

Who do you think is the best everyday player in the division?


Rafael Furcal. Can that be? Wow, this division really is weak.

Luis Gonzalez. A Dodger. Does this make sense to anybody?

Yes, it makes a lot of sense to Gonzalez and his banker. For the life of me, I don't understand the reluctance on the part of so many GMs to give their young players a chance. I'm not a big fan of mediocrity, and that's all you're gonna get with someone like Gonzalez at this point in his career.

True or false: Bud Selig will be in the stands the day Barry Bonds breaks the home-run record.

False. Bud Selig will be alphabetizing his pantry that evening.

Who do you think is the best starting pitcher in the division?

Brandon Webb or Jake Peavy. Pick your poison. Of course, Webb has a Cy Young Award on his mantle at home and Peavy doesn't. Brandon is an extreme groundball pitcher who has really improved his command the past two years. Jake is a strikeout artist and led the NL in ERA in 2004. I'll take two of each.

True or False: The Big Unit is big-time done.

False. The Big Unit will never again be what he once was, but I think he can still pitch. He's not as good as his 17-11 record last year, nor as bad as his 5.00 ERA. Although Johnson's fastball now sits in the low-90s and the slider has flattened out a bit, I believe the 43-year-old lefty (back surgery and all) can win 13 games and post an ERA just north of 4.

Who do you think is the best closer in the division?

Jonathan Broxton. Oh, wait, you mean actual closers? Trevor Hoffman.

Who do you think is the best manager in the division?

Bruce Bochy is the "chalk" answer. But I'm intrigued by Bud Black despite the fact that he has never managed a game in the majors. That said, I'm rooting for Clint Hurdle to do well because I'm hopeful of finding a sucker who might be interested in buying a dozen or so rookie cards from me.

You named your son, Joseph William -- Joe Willie -- and you're on the record saying that Namath was your hero growing up. What was it that drew you to him?

I was an impressionable 13-year-old kid when Namath beat the Colts in Super Bowl III after guaranteeing a victory despite being a 17-point underdog. Broadway Joe was one cool dude. I've always been attracted to players with a bit of charisma or flair. Pistol Pete is my all-time favorite basketball player. Jerry West was great, but I liked Elgin Baylor even better. You can have Jack Nicklaus, I'll take Arnold Palmer. But Namath, yeah, he's number one. What can I say? I know my son is thankful that my favorite player wasn't another QB by the name of Yelberton Abraham Tittle.

You've written beautifully about your father, an old sportswriter, and your relationship with him. Buck O'Neil used to talk about how there were more fathers and sons who have played Major League baseball than any other sport. I haven't done the numbers, but I would bet that's true. Why do you think that is?

That's a good question. I know that there have been more than 100 father-son combos in Major League Baseball. As to why baseball has had more than other sports, I can think of two reasons off the top of my head. Baseball has the longest history, and it has always had a greater number of players performing at the big league level than any sport other than football. So, in terms of the pure math involved, the odds favor baseball. But maybe there is another thing working in its favor. Baseball is more of a "learned" skill than the others. As a result, it's a lot easier for a father to teach a son how to catch, throw, and hit a baseball than it is to teach him to run fast, jump high, etc. Lastly, I would argue that the pace of the game also lends itself to fathers and sons sharing it, whether as players, fans, or both.

Jason Schmidt, Derek Lowe, Brad Penny, Randy Wolf ... hey, if this was 2003, that would be one heckuva foursome (at least in won-loss record -- they were a combined 64-32 that year). What's it worth in 2007?

About $42 million. Well, that may not be what they are worth but that's how much they'll cost the Dodgers this year. Brad Penny is the key here. The big right-hander needs to pitch more like he did in the first half (10-2, 2.91) than the second half (6-7, 6.25). There's a reason why he was the NL's starting pitcher in the All-Star game last summer. Penny was pumped up and was hitting 97, 98, and 99 on the gun. If healthy, he's a very solid #3. Schmidt is a legit ace and Lowe is a strong 2. I can't really fault Ned Colletti for taking a chance on Wolf for $8 million. That seems like a low-risk gamble to me. Add in Chad Billingsley or Hong-Chih Kuo as the fifth starter, and this is a pretty good rotation.

Greg Maddux. Why?

Why not? Sure, Maddux is now 12 years removed from winning four straight Cy Youngs, but he throws strikes and can still get batters out. Just don't let him throw more than 80 pitches. Three times through the lineup, max, because he's not apt to fool many hitters the fourth time around. I think he will be a good fit in that ballpark in San Diego.

True or false: Nomar Garciaparra will (at least) repeat his 2006 performance.

If we're talking about games played (122), then the answer is "true." However, if we're talking about performance, the answer is "false." He will not hit .300 or slug .500 this year, so help me James Loney.

OK, let's play a word association game. I'll say a word, and you say the first thing that comes to mind. The word is, hmm, let me think of a good one ... BLYLEVEN.

HALL OF FAMER.

The Rockies have become a very trendy team in the preseason, and I will admit that I'm a bit leery about trendy teams ever since Sports Illustrated put the Cleveland Indians on the cover in 1987 (and the Tribe went on to lose 100 games). You buying the hype?

Nah. At least not this year. Is Aaron Cook really the ace of that staff? I don't need to go on, do I?

What if someone told you many years ago that you would be the author of an ultra-popular baseball blog (assuming they could have explained what a "blog" was). Would you have believed them?

Well, I wouldn't believe them if they told me that now. I'm having fun. It's been a good outlet for me. It allows me the opportunity to combine my love for baseball, writing, and stats in a public forum that was never really available before. I've met dozens of great guys from coast to coast and even a few in places like Kansas City.

True or false: Todd Helton still has some good years left.

Hmmm . . . Good, yes. Great, no. Therefore, I guess my answer is "true." Helton is definitely on the backside of his career. His contract is a real albatross for the Rockies, but he will be traded at some point. It's just a matter of Colorado's ownership deciding on how much money they want to eat.

There are people out there who like Khalil Greene. I'm not necessarily one of those people -- I see a guy who doesn't get on base, doesn't stay healthy, doesn't seem to get to anything defensively and can't run. And yet, there are more "Greene" jerseys in San Diego than LaDainian Tomlinson jerseys. Straighten me out. Am I missing something.

Yes. The blond hair. Take a closer look, it's women wearing those jerseys. But, in fairness to Greene, he really isn't half bad. His advanced defensive metrics were actually pretty good last year and his offensive production has always been hampered by playing home games at Petco Park (.232/.301/.353 vs. .277/.341/.513 on the road). Greene's not the best shortstop in the league, but he's far from being the worst.

It looks as if the Giants will not start a single player under 30. Most of them -- Ray Durham? Omar Vizquel? Rich Aurilia? Dave Roberts? Barry? -- started their careers when the Dodgers were in Brooklyn. Is this some shrewd Moneyball maneuver to take advantage of market inequities by playing really old guys?

Hey, don't forget Ryan Klesko. The Giants signed the 35-year-old in December and the average age of the team went down. Look, there is nothing "shrewd" going on here. The Giants are on a treadmill, so to speak. For years, the organization has tried to win with an aging Barry Bonds and a bunch of 30-something doo opps while giving away high-draft picks and basically ignoring its farm system. Guess what? It's all coming home to roost now. If the Giants were a stock, I'd "short" them.

This is really a bad division, isn't it?


Yeah, it really is. There is some hope though. The NL Central was the worst division in baseball last year, yet the 83-78 Cardinals won the World Series. So you never know.

Your Dad was really one heck of a sportswriter. How aware of that were you when you were a kid, and how much do you think that affected your own love of sports?

Thanks, Joe. My Dad was a sportswriter before I was born. As such, sports have been a part of my life from day one. I can't even fathom a life without a heavy dose of sports, especially baseball. I guess you could say it's in my blood. Dad covered the Dodgers from their first year in Los Angeles in 1958 through 1968 and was Director of Public Relations and Promotions with the California Angels for the next decade. I like to call them the Koufax and Ryan years. If my brothers and I weren't playing baseball, we were at the Coliseum, Dodger Stadium, or Anaheim Stadium watching baseball. We were all very fortunate. Great times, great memories.

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Baseball in Verse: Take 2

I'm on the road these days, which will explain why I have not gotten up the NL Central and NL West previews up just yet. They are coming. I promise. But I spent today in Humboldt, Kan., and Carthage, Mo., and tomorrow I'm in Elba, Neb., and Omaha. And the following day, I'm in Van Meter, IA. I suspect you, being a big baseball fan, can figure out more or less what I'm doing.

In the meantime, here is our next installment of Baseball in Verse to get you ready and fired up for the new season.

What's my opinion
of
Kingman's performance?

What the ####
do you think
is my opinion of it?

I think it was
#### ing
####

Put that in.
I don't ####

Opinion of his performance?
####
He beat us.
With
Three ####ing
home runs
What the #### do you mean?

What's my opinion
of
his performance?

How could you
ask me
a question like that?

What's my opinion
of
his peformance?

####!
He hit three home runs.
####!

I'm ####ing pissed off
to lose that
####ing game.
And you ask me ...

What's my opinion
of
his performance?

####!

-- Tommy Lasorda

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Baseball in Verse, Take 1

In "The Soul of Baseball," we take a few wonderful quotes from Buck O'Neil and turn them into verse. It's not a new trick -- someone did an entire book of Phil Rizutto in verse -- but I think it is something that frankly isn't done enough. So as we approach Opening Day, we may offer a few baseball poems to inspire and get you ready for the season.

Well beat the drum
And hold the phone.
The sun came out today!

We're born again!
There's new grass on the field.
Ah-roundin' third. And headed for home.
It's a brown eyed
handsome
man

Anyone can understand the way I feel.

So put me in coach.
I'm ready to play.
Today.
Put me in coach.
I'm ready to play.
Today.
Look at me.
I can be. Centerfield.

Well I spent some time
in the Mudville nine.
Watchin'
it from the bench. You know I took
some lumps when the
Mighty Casey
struck out.

So say hey
Willie
Tell Ty Cobb
And Joe Dimah
Geo
Dont' say it ain't so
You know the time is now

Yeah. I got it. I got it.

Got a beat-up glove
a homemade bat
and a brand new pair of shoes
You know it's time to give this game a ride.
You got to hit
the ball
And touch
'em all
A moment in the sun
It's gone! And you can tell
that one
goodbye.

So put me in coach.
I'm ready to play.
Today.
Put me in coach.
I'm ready to play.
Today.
Look at me.
I can be. Centerfield.

- John Fogerty

AL East Redux with Seth Mnookin

Maybe this is a universal feeling. Probably not. But I have several good friends who I think are way too cool to hang out with me. They are so cool that, for instance, they don't use comically outdated words like "cool." Seth Mnookin is undoubtedly the coolest person willing to be seen in public with me. He lives in New York, wears all black, swears a lot, has appeared on The Daily Show with Jon Stewart, hangs around with people like Sarah Vowell and has written for Spin, Slate and Salon -- the three S's of journalism cool. He's a Harvard grad, his work has appeared in Dave Eggers' Best American Non Required Reading 2002 and The New Yorker, and he started his career as a rock critic.

I'm embarrassed for HIM, when people see us in the same place.

But above all, Seth Mnookin is a huge Red Sox fan. His terrific insider account of the Red Sox, Feeding the Monster, made the New York Times best seller's list and will come out in paperback this year. We've already had Alex Belth preview the American League East, and he was fabulous, but he's a Yankees fan through and through. Here we give the Red Sox equal time. Plus, this way I can tell people again, "I got to exchange emails with Seth Mnookin. He likes me. He really likes me."

First, 1-5, predict the AL East race.

1. Boston
2. New York
3. Toronto
4. Tampa Bay
5. Baltimore

I'm flip-flopping the historic 1-2 and 4-5, only because I don't buy the Braves argument – they've won in the past, ergo, they'll win in the future – and at some point the Sox need to win the damn division. (If they don't, Murray Chass will never truly believe they won the World Series.) And Tampa Bay is, at least, interesting. The Orioles simply suck ass.

Who do you think is the best player in the division?


David Ortiz. There's a good argument to be made that the best player should also play in the field, but that argument doesn't hold up here. Pedro was the best player in the league in the 1999-2000 era, and Papi is now. He's the most fun to watch, he makes his teammates better, he changes the complexion of every game when the Red Sox enter the 8th or 9th down a couple of runs. Someday we'll look back and realize that, over the last four years, we all witnessed something truly incredible.

True of false: Derek Jeter is a lousy defensive shortstop.


True. He's perfected the Nomar move: make an average play look remarkably difficult, thereby drawing oohs and aahs from fans and ignorant broadcasters alike. He's not as bad as some think – he's far from the worst shortstop in baseball – but he's in the lower half.

For your first book, Hard News, you appeared on Bill O'Reilly and on Jon Stewart's show. Which one was more fun?

That's such a gimme. C'mon. Stewart. He'd actually read the book; he wanted to engage on a real level; he repeatedly called (former New York Times editor) Howell Raines a dick on the air. O'Reilly really is more of a kabuki theater experience: you're having a conversation, the red light comes on, and all of a sudden there's lots of yelling and sudden movements. It wouldn't be a good show for an epileptic to do.

Who is the best starting pitcher in the division?

Chien-Ming Wang. (Doesn't it sound crazy to say that?) Nah, just kidding. Right now it's kind of a toss-up. Roy Halladay would be if he stayed healthy. I'm interested in what happens with Daisuke-san, although even in the best of circumstances he's not going to be the best pitcher in the division. Outside of that, who knows? Phillip Hughes could come up and blow everyone away. Scott Kazmir would pull it all together. We could have a Papelbon-esque emergence somewhere. One thing I know: it won't happen in Baltimore. Because Baltimore sucks.

Who is the best closer in the division?

Mariano. He's older, he's slowing down, but he's still the best. This is assuming Papelbon stays in the rotation.

You started out as a rock critic. A friend of mine who works for Warner says Linkin Park will have the No. 1 selling album in America this year. This depressed me. The question: Is there a great rock and roll band left in the world?

Oh, sure. There are a lot. Radiohead's a really great rock band – when I saw them in Madison Square Garden a couple of years ago, I was blown away. Wilco is occasionally a great band. The Arcade Fire is on its way to being a great band. U2 is a great rock band. And there are lots of small and smallish bands that I think are great; it just depends if you're defining the term as someone/something that can blow away 20,000 people at a time.
Remember, too – and I'm saying this only because I hate to see you depressed – there have been lots of awful bands that have had the best selling album of any given year: The Saturday Night Fever, The Bodyguard Soundtrack, albums by REO Speedwagon, Bobby Brown, and Ace of Base.

Editor's note: I can't get into Wilco. And I feel like I'm a traitor to my Generation X or something. I've had dozens of people try to get me to appreciate Wilco. My friend Brian, the Warner Music guy, has given me something like 493 free Wilco discs, others have played Wilco in the car when we've been together and slowly explained to me why Wilco is great. I don't deny Wilco's greatness. I really don't. I just can't get into the music. I know it's me.

Two part question. Do you: a.) Believe in clutch hitting? and b.) Believe that Big Papi is a bonafide clutch hitter?

A. Yes.
B. Yes.
I don't see how there's any way you could have watched baseball for the past half-decade and not believe that Ortiz rises to the occasion; ergo, clutch hitting exists. As Bill James told me in Feeding the Monster (available for just $17.16 from Amazon! Cheap!), just because we don't know how to quantify it doesn't mean it doesn't exist.

The Yankees pitching staff features 39-year-old Mike Mussina, 37-year-old Mariano Rivera, and Andy Pettite, who is 498. While the Yankees will still have the youngest pitching staff in New York, does the Yankees staff give you hope?

Hope for the Red Sox? The Yankees also have Phillip Hughes. The Sox have 40-year old Schilling and the Depression-era Wakefield/Timlin duo. Either rotation could end up clicking – Pavano could have a good year (unlikely, but theoretically possible); Wang could replicate '06; Hughes could come up and dominate circa Papelbon '06. And in Boston, Beckett could get electro-shock treatment and cure him of the misconception that he can blow his fastball by AL hitters, Dice-K could gyro his way to a 40-0 record, Papelbon could make the transition to starter and finish the year with a .03 ERA. Or it could all go to shit. Who knows?

True or False: The Red Sox will rue the day they signed J.D. Drew.

True. That day will be on April 1, 2010.

You are one of the few people who have had the good fortune of talking with Stephen Glass, Jayson Blair and James Frey: the Elvis, Chuck Berry and Little Richard of untrue journalism. Give us a scouting report on each:

Actually, I didn't really talk to Frey. (Or I did, but only when I mistook him for someone else at a charity auction. He's short. And really pathetic.) Jayson is, legitimately, a manic loon; Stephen is, legitimately, smart and also seemed to me to be aware of what he'd done, although I found his decision to write a "novel" instead of dealing with the people he'd screwed over a bit odd. Or at least indicative of his not fully accepting the consequences of what happened.

What are your favorite and least favorite Yankees-Red Sox moments?

I'm going to limit this to the last decade. Favorites: the '04 playoffs, the two '04 July games (the brawl and the Jeter-into-the-stands), the '03 playoffs, the '99 Pedro 17-K game in Yankee stadium. Least favorite: the opening series of the '06 regular season (the Sheffield into the right-field stands series) and the final series of the '06 regular season. The first series was just ugly; the final one clearly signaled the jump-the-shark moment of the rivalry. (Incidentally, I was at all of these games/moments save for the Fenway July '04 match and the '03 playoffs.)

Toronto. Do you even take the Blue Jays seriously anymore as a fan?

Well, sure. J.P.'s a smart guy and has the potential to be a really good GM. They've beaten up on the Sox, and they have Roy Halladay. I didn't get their pitching signings last off-season, although with the Meche's of the world getting $300 mil a year, the BJ/Burnett deals do look pretty good.

You graduated from Harvard with a degree in the history of science. What is that? What in the heck did you think you were going to do with that? And how in the heck did you use that to write your terrific insider Red Sox book?

It's a major I fell into after I'd signed up for at least four or five others: History of Literature; English; Anthropology; Philosophy. And History of Science is (or was) the closest you could come to a kind of classic liberal arts education: I got to take sciences and history and philosophy and it all counted. But it didn't help much with the Sox book. Or anything I've done professionally. One day, I'll use my thesis – on 19th-century, epileptic axe murderers – in some way. I'm determined.

Baltimore. Tampa Bay. Any interesting thoughts on these poor shlubs?

Tampa Bay: It's criminal that a team can be paid more in revenue sharing than they spend on player payroll. Lucchino once told me they were likely spending money on other things, like player development. Fine. But good god, man, shouldn't there be some kind of stipulation that teams use the money they get to sign players that might make the team at least semi-competitive?
Baltimore: The Orioles traded for Kris Benson. They deserve whatever they get.

Many people have said that the Red Sox are the new Yankees ... they just go out and spend money and buy players. Does this in any way cut into your enjoyment?

Actually, yes. If I was the god of all things baseball, I'd have a salary floor and a salary ceiling. It'd make the game more interesting.

Matsuzaka. You buying the hype?

If you bought the hype, you'd be saying he's a combination of Cy Young, Sandy Koufax, and Pedro … except better. So no. But, I think he's an incredibly good pitcher with the potential to be great.

What is the best baseball movie?

"Air Bud." Or "Baseketball."

Slate or Salon ... which is cooler?

I have more of a history with Salon, but these days I write more for Slate. Which is my way of saying I'm gonna wuss out on this one.

You traveled around New England selling your book. What was the most fun thing you did during your Red Sox-Yankees book promotion?

Lobster rolls in Maine. Duh.

I asked Alex Belth if that thing Yankee fans do -- where they call out each player's name until recognized -- is cool or unbearably obnoxious. What do you think?

It's not so much obnoxious as stupid and childish. It's what a three-year-old would do if he were trying to get his dad's attention while he was at work.

True or false: Curt Schilling will be in the Baseball Hall of Fame.


Tough call. I'd vote for him. He's the best postseason pitcher of his generation, and arguably the best postseason pitcher ever. That counts for at least as much as having the good fortune to be part of a double-play combination that was made into a catchy ditty. His ERA+ was pretty much always above 120, his WHIP was below 1.2 for six straight years, and he has more than 200 wins and 3,000 Ks. He was killed by those years in Philly, though, and too many of the writers who vote on the HOF (Hi, Murray!) are boobs who seem to be proud of their ignorance.

Thanks! You've been great! Don't forget to tip your waitress!